I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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