are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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