I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Betty ford says i'm here all night
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
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i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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