the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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