This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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