Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
