the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
