So drunk its hurt
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
