I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
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that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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