Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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