dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
