just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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