I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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