She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize