Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.