meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
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wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
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God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.