I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
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well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
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We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.