so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
