i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.