drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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