i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
