Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
