there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
