not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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