I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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