I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
