Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
youre lurking in front of me
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
