That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
