Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
i've created a new STD.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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