When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your topless pictures make me question reality
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
