I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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