you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
