YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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