im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Please don't give away my fajitas
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize