They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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