I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize