dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
