i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just pee around me
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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