Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
