i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
