Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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