What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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