bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
