I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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