He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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