we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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