yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
