Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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