I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
