they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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