It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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