And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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