I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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