You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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