I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
