Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
