So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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