We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
