He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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