forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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