help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
