I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
