What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
