I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
