White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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